There has been a lot said lately about the black family is no more and we as women have taken on a more masculine role that men can't be men inside or outside the home.
life back in the 70s and 80s was the life I grew up in a two-parent household, and after I moved with my mother and step-father it was much of the same with a few differences. there was the setup of drugs, sex, and then us kids, because of my stepfather's drug habit he was sent to jail more than once, didn't get clean right away it took a few more years, and the death of my brother for him to stop.
here is my take on the subject and I'm speaking from my opinion( haha). as a single woman, I can say that when a man can make a woman feel less then it's a different story altogether. I can remember a time when the man was in the home with his wife and children, growing up this was my home because I was raised by my grandparents.
I use to believe that what took some men from the home was either war or drugs or both. so of course during these times, women had to step up and take on a more manly role to take care of their children. I have been taking care of myself since the age of 18, it was hard, to say the least, but it never stopped me from being in a relationship with a male who claimed to be a man and taking care of me. I was in two abusive relationships with men who said they loved and cared for me.
I also watched my mother deal with the same but of course, she and my stepfather were together for over 39 years, I thought I would break the cycle of abuse but two of my sisters went through the same. I could have been bitter and decided that it was over for me and my relationships until I meet my son's father and even though he was six years younger we stuck it out until I turned 30 after that the cheating started on both parts, it taught me what not to do and to always let a man be just that a man.
when I first entered the playwright contest my boyfriend at the time told me that one of the things he hated about me was the fact that when I set my mind to do something I got it done, I was surprised by this statement and because of it I stepped back to let him shine what happen was in the process my light went out right along with my self-esteem. all the opinions about us taking on a more masculine role is because at some point we feel we have to when you're used to paying your bill alone or fixing your car alone when a man (true genuine man)comes along it's hard to let the guard down and go back to being that feminine being you were created to be. let us not forget there are wolves out there in sheep's clothing offering you the world and then being a couch potato or he so into himself can't see past what he wants, and as women were supposed to be ok with it. but when we come up and start making it are we suppose to once again downplay our success for the man to still feel like the breadwinner.
when we as women start to take on a male role, a man feel less than let's just say it is not good.
are we happy reversing the roles as so many people claim or are we all men and women just walking around with this wall of protection up because we have been programmed to believe we can make it without each? I personally protect myself because I know what it's like to believe you mean the world to someone, and then theyabandon you or reject you or even use you for eye candy or just plain casual sex.
what amazes me with all the games we play against each other is it worth it?
which is why I am by myself because if I can't find the man that God created for me, one who has the same dreams and goals and is willing to grow financially and travel and grow old together then I will remain an old maid.
men are from mars and women are from venus is a straight made-up thing to make and put us against each other, the black family has been destroyed way before as we women had to take on a more male role to survive, everything for us is hard because we are women and two we live in a male ran world, so forgive us when we brag about how far we've come or that new female CEO spot we got, because truthfully we earned that right. we were put on this earth to be equally yolk with a partner so If I win we both win. so instead of all these opinions about the male female issues let try and fix it!