Expectations
A strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
A belief that someone will or should achieve something.
I have spent my whole life trying to live up to others' expectations of me.
Never realizing how much unnecessary pressure I was putting on myself to fit in or be seen.
A thought came to me yesterday. After I had a moment to remember M, I accidentally called his phone yesterday.
Never thinking that after three months, his number would be given to someone else.
A Young woman texted me back asking who I was and why I was texting his phone my first thought was negative because I know for a fact M wasn't talking to any one so why would a female answer a deceased man's phone, I took a deep breathe and began to call a few of my friends for advice.
My expectations were high on how it could be, but then I realized that his number was recycled to someone else.
It feels like the world and even his family have forgotten him and moved on with the life the same way they had when he was here on earth.
While I still grieve him every day, and this month is tough because his birthday is March 20th, and I can't send him anything or take him to Vegas because my best friend and father of my son is gone.
My expectations were for us to be on this earth growing old together and fussing like the married couple people thought we were.
In life, you can not put more on a person because of our high expectations of what we feel they should or shouldn't be doing.
M spent his life fighting to fill the expectations of others who never truly saw him for the good-hearted person he already was.
After the loss of the woman he loved and wanted to marry, he gave up the expectation of finally having the happily ever after and gave up the fight to live.
Stop living in other people's expectations and live freely and unapologetically in your own expectations.
