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As we have sprung forward at the beginning of March.
I have been reflecting on the word love and its definition of the word.
The definition of the word love is an intense feeling of deep affection.
The season brings out that and then some.
But despite the definition do we understand how to love?
A friend and I had a conversation about this and how during our lives we've been searching for love.
I mean the love you are supposed o feel according to the movies, the toes curling love. and yet we are now in our 50s and have still experienced that type of love.
I have spent the last three years trying to accept and love myself with all my faults.
I am not perfect nor have I ever thought I was perfect, in my head I created a love that was perfect with the husband and the white picket fence.
And it has yet to happen for me and a few others I know.
Love doesn't judge or criticize you for just being who you are.
Love doesn't go away or stop because a person isn't feeling you.
Love is unconditional and can bring you unmatched joy.
The best part is love is forever and lasting when it comes from a place of pure and unwavering.
Spring has sprung and with that knowledge, this love will find you, and when it does be prepared to receive a gift of the greatest joy.
Live, love, laugh
Jul. 30, 2022
I have talked about slaying giants and how I felt invisible.
My family by far is not perfect and that's just pretty much every family when you think about it. and from the family dynamic there are skeletons some known or unknown.
there is also a subject that has been on my mind and I want to share.
I have been in several abusive relationships because my mother made it seem like it was normal, I have abandonment issues I was left at two days old, my biological grandmother left my mother and my uncle because she had no choice in the matter, so my mother had abandonment issues as well, and it's the generational curse of each generation and beyond. as children we repeat that which we hear and see, doesn't mean it is right or wrong. what we are taught is what we seem to repeat, I was raised by my grandparent were the type of people who loved unconditionally even though their relationship was anything but traditional they were in a bar and meet and at the time my grandfather was married to my grandmother, which means there is also a generational curse of cheating in my family, I was a product of it and I to was doing a lot of cheating in my early 20s, you hurt me I will hurt you, not to say it was right because it most certainly was not. this things are taught and passed down from one generation to the next, and some where along the way we must end it and break the chain. I have learned through therapy that we tend to repeat these behaviors as we see these behaviors play out in our families lives, sometimes they try to hide and spare us from such things, and sometimes we see it live and in living color. abuse for me was normal to see so therefore when I found myself in an abusive relationship I made excuses hide bruises cause it was normal I mean if my mother could do it, I could do it because he loved me right? no he did not love should never hurt and what made me brea that chain is I didn't want to die like a friend of mine did back in 88' she didn't want to leave him and it cost her and her unborn child their lives.
not to say that our accomplishments aren't vaild. I believe that no matter what we do not have to follow in the footsteps of our parents or grandparents some where along the way we have to end all the generational curse. I ham living proof that you can do anything you set your mind to make your own path, yes we will always make mistakes but we don't have to repeat the mistakes of those before us. keep those eyes open and don't fall into he generational curse trap. keep living and growing into you and the person you're meant to be.
I decided I would break this generational curse so my sister wouldn't have to endure what we saw growing up or what I did as a young adult, yet despite my sisters dealt with it as well, we broke the generational curse of lack of education, my mother drop out of school at 16, I got get out of school in junior year, my youngest sister also dropped out. proud to say that my younger sister and I got our GED, and my middle sister graduated high school went on to college and is now a registered nurse.