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Carolyn live,love, laugh

                                Love

As we have sprung forward at the beginning of March.

I have been reflecting on the word love and its definition of the word.

The definition of the word love is an intense feeling of deep affection.

The season brings out that and then some.

But despite the definition do we understand how to love?

A friend and I had a conversation about this and how during our lives we've been searching for love.

I mean the love you are supposed o feel according to the movies, the toes curling love. and yet we are now in our 50s and have still experienced that type of love.

I have spent the last three years trying to accept and love myself with all my faults.

I am not perfect nor have I ever thought I was perfect, in my head I created a love that was perfect with the husband and the white picket fence.

And it has yet to happen for me and a few others I know.

Love doesn't judge or criticize you for just being who you are.

Love doesn't go away or stop because a person isn't feeling you.

Love is unconditional and can bring you unmatched joy.

The best part is love is forever and lasting when it comes from a place of pure and unwavering.

Spring has sprung and with that knowledge, this love will find you, and when it does be prepared to receive a gift of the greatest joy.

Live, love, laugh

Aug. 26, 2022

I still believe

This topic has been in my head for a couple of days, all because it's the title of a song by PJ Morton. the line from the song goes "I still believe in us, I still believe in love."

I as Listen to the words of course I start to wonder do I still believe in love.

I still believe in love just from a different angle, I know that first and foremost you must love yourself unconditionally in order even remotely to accept love from someone else, Know the difference between genuine love and fake love.

at one point I had the fancy of love and what I thought it was. love for me always equaled sex and soul ties but I never felt or received the love I thought I wanted.

you see, I now understand why so many of my relationships with me didn't work.

I put some of those men on a pedestal and created what I thought was the perfect man.

I believe that true love should never be forced and never should it be fake.

I used those soul ties to try to hold on to men who clearly didn't want or deserve me.

I believe I can see the real from the fake in all things coming in my path.

We sometimes hold on out of the fear of being lonely and in the end, we still wind up lonely and hurt, is it worth the pain? I believe that it's all about playing mind games with each other to see how far we can truly go or push that person over the edge.

I believe there are good people in this world who want to show that unique side of themselves to someone who can truly see them for who they are, I am that person that was doing everything in a relationship to be seen and not invisible, and it was that feeling that would make me run or start a fight just so I could escape. let us not forget the abuse I took also thinking it was a form of love. I believe in the good of everyone until you prove me wrong, in no way Am I saying in most of my relationships I was right because I have been wrong as well. I cheated on my partner once or twice in the get-back way of thinking because either they cheated first or I was left abandoned. I need love and attention and when I feel I don't get it I will run away or find someone who will give that attention.

I believe that we can be what we want and need from ourselves and those we let in.

those days are over and happened more in my younger years. as we get older the priority changes, we want to be settled down and with someone who has the same mindset and goals as we do. I believe you can manifest those things in time but the true question is can you offer someone the same thing that you ask of them?

I believe that at this point in my life I built up a wall because of my past pain of those broken relationships some I caused and some I haven't, it's like being on a roller coaster and never being able to get off. I believe in love and that will come to me again.

I believe I must be patient and kind and let God and Universe do what they must.

I believe in all good things for me and my future. therefore I will keep my truth sharing with the world my experience. "I believe in love, I believe in me."