Sep. 15, 2022


I have been debating this subject for a week now.

I am not the only one who has issues with their body, my best friend and I had a conversation about a week ago, and she now has body issues due to all the amputations she's had over the last few years due to her diabetes.

I decided to write it and see where it goes, I have spent my whole life hating my body, why you may ask. because for most of my life I have been a thick girl. the big high butt the thick thighs( you know they say thick thighs save lives.) I always wore long skirts to hide the fact that my calves were large and also covered my large breasts. I got picked on a lot in junior high and high school. the very things that celebrities are spending thousands of dollars on.

nowadays you have the IG models and others walking around leaving nothing to the imagination but now it's okay to do so.

her toes were her best figure and now she has lost not just her toes but her left foot up to her knee and soon she will lose her right foot. I try to keep her encouraged but I don't know how good of a job I'm doing when I still try to hide my legs, living with lymphedema is hard because my legs are quite large, but I try to now express who I am in body. for centuries we were put on display because our ancestors were built with curves, yet it for so long after was for us to be covered up to be modest.

I remember in high school I tried out for the drill team and was told by a teacher we're afraid you will have to lose weight to join the squad, I was like really at the time I was a size 12. one of the girls on the squad was like I can help you lose weight Carolyn just take a few of these before you eat she gave me a laxative I took them and let just say I made the squad but now I also am borderline bulimic where I am binging and purging and losing even more weight. until a friend saved me two years later. my point is we all have our insecurities about our bodies at one point or another, but what I DON'T UNDERSTAND is how the world became so vain when it comes to looks.

The Kardashians women have made it okay to walk around looking like a living doll, but women like me who have a natural build get looks like something is wrong with them. I have learned that the world is changing but at the end of the day do we sell our souls for the price of beauty or the perfect body? I know a lot of people have self-esteem and body issues as well.

Celebrities go and get injections in their butt, lips, and anywhere else when I can remember as teenage boys use to tease me because I have full lips. a boy I used to have a crush on made me cry one day when he said "with those lips, you would probably swallow my lips if I kissed you." I was so embarrassed I ran home.

but at the end of the day why does society judge us for it?

Like I said at the beginning of this blog I have judged myself about my body and I now can say that big butt, large breasts, and big calves I appreciate who I have grown to be despite how others may see me. So the bottom line is this love every part of your body no matter what because at the end of the day you only have one, appreciate every flaw, curve, and dimple. love the body you're in.