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Carolyn live,love, laugh

                                Love

As we have sprung forward at the beginning of March.

I have been reflecting on the word love and its definition of the word.

The definition of the word love is an intense feeling of deep affection.

The season brings out that and then some.

But despite the definition do we understand how to love?

A friend and I had a conversation about this and how during our lives we've been searching for love.

I mean the love you are supposed o feel according to the movies, the toes curling love. and yet we are now in our 50s and have still experienced that type of love.

I have spent the last three years trying to accept and love myself with all my faults.

I am not perfect nor have I ever thought I was perfect, in my head I created a love that was perfect with the husband and the white picket fence.

And it has yet to happen for me and a few others I know.

Love doesn't judge or criticize you for just being who you are.

Love doesn't go away or stop because a person isn't feeling you.

Love is unconditional and can bring you unmatched joy.

The best part is love is forever and lasting when it comes from a place of pure and unwavering.

Spring has sprung and with that knowledge, this love will find you, and when it does be prepared to receive a gift of the greatest joy.

Live, love, laugh

Nov. 5, 2022

Trigger

This word came to mind for many reasons but let's look at the meaning of the word first. Trigger means something that causes someone to feel upset and frightened because they are made to remember something bad that has happened in the past.

my younger sister's trigger is the name of the couisn who raped her as a young teenager.

Many people are triggered by many different things for me it could be the words baby and boo because at one point in time both of my abusers called me those pet names.

I am not sure how many others have had triggers to make them remember a tragic event in their lives.

Triggers for me can make you do several things but what they can't make you do or be is a victim. this is what I mean by that statement for as long as I can remember I thought I was to stay a victim to whatever triggers came and tried to take over my life, for a while I stayed in the victim mindset until I realized I was more then what my abusers wanted me to be and stay.

I found the courage to tell my story to help others, you can be triggered to get high, or drink but you are, not a victim of those things unless you allow yourself to be.

triggers can be like anything else they can and will be broken when you take your finger off what triggers you.

I write about certain subjects because for a long time most of these things were to be kept quiet because they were too harmful or family secrets that were to stay behind closed doors or subjects that were too taboo. well, I have to be honest and share all that I can from my experiences I am here to heal myself but also help heal others through what I have not just defeated but overcame through doing the work of healing all that has hurt or triggered that hurt.

I spent a long time in the warped mindset that my family and friends all have things that may trigger a thought or a bad memory but we can only be free of it if we talk about it or share the lesson from it.

so when you feel yourself being triggered go to your happy place or just breath your way through the thought and keep moving forward because there is a bright light at the end of that tunnel.